The BEST Holistic Healing Approach

After many years of binge eating and going through severe depression every day, it finally hit me at 24 years old to snap out of the unhealthy habits that have been weighing me down daily. This is why I made the conscious decision to start practicing Ayurveda. Ayurveda is best described as the science of life where Ayur means life and Veda means knowledge. It is an ancient Indian belief system that all human beings and the universe consist of Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Ether. Everyone has something called a Dosha which are three energies that make up every human and it is important for every being to understand their Dosha to lead them to a path of enlightenment and a balanced life. The three Doshas are called Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Everyone is made up of all three Doshas but many are more dominant in one Dosha than the others. Let me break it down for you…

 

The 3 Doshas:

 

Vata reflects elements of space and air due to having qualities of being smaller boned and thinner while having fast acting brains and move quick with little patience and flexibility. Vata types are creative, great communicators, and active. Vatta’s negative qualities include the tendency of frequent anxiety and conditions in the body such as constipation and skin problems due to dry skin. These types of people are predictable, grounding, and warming. Due to being dry skinned with disorders in the skin, it is recommended that Vattas eat more foods that contain healthy oils such as avocado oil, coconut oil, flaxseed oil, etc. for balance.

It is important for Vattas to have a routine such as going to bed early cooking dinner around the same time daily to prevent stress. Intensive workouts are not ideal for Vattas as they become more stressed with these types of workouts that lead to weight gain. Meditation and light exercises will give Vattas the best benefits for losing weight as they are low stress activities. Vattas should stay away from alcohol, smoking, eating while anxious/depressed, and going to bed late.

 

Pitta reflects elements of fire and water which explains their intense personality and oily skin while being medium built and having the ability to put on muscle easily. Pittas tend to overheat easily and this is why it is important for them to keep their internal fire in balance. Pitta types are intelligent and have a jubilant temperament that give them a lot of drive to accomplish tasks throughout their life. Negative qualities of a Pitta include turning from a joyous to a bitter temperament. This type often lets their ego get in the way and they can become angry and express rage towards others with yelling that can become domineering to others.

Pitta’s key words are moderation, calming, and refreshing. Pittas need to eat more proteins than any other Dosha but it should be from cool vegetables to lower their body heat as meat would increase it. Pitta imbalances are prone to infections, inflammation, and heartburn. Pittas should exert their extra energy into meditation and yoga due to them being calming activities to quiet their fire. Pittas should stay away from eating while mad, drinking alcohol, over-working, and smoking.

 

Kapha reflects elements of water and Earth meaning this type is easy going and bigger boned where they put on fat easily. Kaphas are full of love and put others before themselves making them very giving human beings. Kapha’s qualities are that they have a lot of patience, forgiveness, and mental inertia that grounds a Vatta and Pitta which helps offset those Dosha type imbalances. Although, giving too much to others before themselves contributes to their negative qualities including attachment and depression. These imbalances make Kaphas want to turn to overeating to fill the emptiness from depression that lead to bodily disorders that relate to mucous such as obesity and congestion.

This Dosha needs to focus on eating light warm spicy foods that are more on the dry side such as dry apricots, prunes, spicy chicken, or any Indian foods. Kaphas need to eat in a loving environment and engage in introspective activities that helps them focus on themselves and self-love rather than attending to others for once. They also need to go to bed early and wake up early in a well-kept home environment while avoiding taking any naps. Kapha types need to avoid emotional overeating, no physical activity, and spending a lot of time in cool damp weather as it weighs them down even more.

 

When your Doshas are out of balance, your mind, body, and soul are all out of balance. This is why it is key to understand your dominant Dosha and live by what is best for your specific mind and body type to achieve tranquility. Practicing recommended exercises and diet that align with your Dosha will lead to healing depression, anxiety, and many other mental and physical issues. Rather than taking pharmaceuticals to heal your problems, first think about how the food you put in your body and what exercises you are practicing are affecting your overall health. For example, if your digestive system isn’t functioning properly it could throw off your entire body along with mentality and your soul. Everything is one… next time you are sick ask yourself what you aren’t giving your body enough of instead of going straight to pharmaceuticals to band aid the reoccurring problem. What is your Dosha?

Want to finally live your best life?

Hello friends of the planet! I am ready… I am ready to start a new chapter in my life. With all of the change that has been happening to me since the New Year, it has shown me the message in which I have been blinded to… being my highest self. It is time. Time to take action of what I have always dreamed of and venture out by MYSELF. True happiness means nobody validating my actions and nobody trapping me in a cocoon of a house. It is time to spread my wings and I know what I want to do but where do I start?

I am reaching out to YOU if you are reading this to help me out here and I will always return the favor. Let’s vibrate on the same universal plane together and start this adventure. How? Would you be willing to meet me and become a twin flame to travel the world and attend festivals together? Wear flashy clothing and vibe to the music? I have been learning flow art with my hoop specifically. I am drawn to places that are different, different societies and culture that bring out the best in myself while truly connecting with others. This is why I am fond of festivals such as Electric Forest and Lost Lands, something about them makes me feel so liberating and high on life.

Thing is, I just need new people to go on these adventures with me that are eccentric and just like to connect with everyone and be happy. I want best friends that I can count on and learn from because I do not want to be on this journey alone, while traveling having a partner is important when it comes to safety and security…

Do YOU like to do what I mentioned? Are you ready to get out of the daily normal life and do something different? Are you itching for change and living your highest self just like I am? PLEASE reach out to me and I would love to make friends and maybe one day create a community of people that have high vibrations and good vibes! Namaste my friends.

 

Change

New beginnings.

Those eyes, the inviting personality.

Divine like myself, the eccentricity that makes me feel alive.

Intense aura surrounds his body that beams with promise

Temptation.

Infatuation overcomes my soul, my ego flaunts for attention

I’ve got him where I want him, life becomes blurry

This is it.

Art.

Inhale his natural scent, exhale sweat

After months, relief and feeling of belonging

Hard and long strokes, our lips pulsing

Love.

Daily and serene, getting used to this

Comfortable yet difficult, obstacles can heal

I love you but are you happy?

Change.

Crazy how love can change, crazy how love can change

Say it over again, Shelbey, my mind is consumed

Dreaming of what I lost, losing what I am.

 

Writer’s Block

It has been a few months since I have been able to pick up a pen or bring myself to type on a word document. My highest self keeps nudging me to write and to release all of the negative energy I have been bottling up. There is that constant voice in my head that keeps reminding me, “What is the point of writing?” or “Will anyone even care what I have to say?” I’ve realized that these thoughts aren’t just happening when it comes to writing but it has been happening in every aspect of my life.

Let me back track to elementary where I always had my nose in creativity and always longed to publish my own books. My family saw potential and I always told them how bad I wanted to be an author because I knew from the start that writing was my passion. I hit middle school and that was my peak of really showing off my writing skills because I was finally getting recognized for my detailed, organized, and well thought out essays. The English teacher contacted my mother and let her know that she was fascinated with my work and that I needed to end up in a career of journalism. I was enlightened.

Although, something was wrong. I was fighting so many voices in my head that constantly told me I’m not good enough for my family, my “friends”, and most of all… myself. I was bullied a lot about my looks and my stupidity…this is where early signs of depression kicked in. I didn’t believe in myself anymore and this is how the spiral of worry and anxiety started.

Mornings are particularly tough when I wake up and the first thing that races through my mind are negative thoughts. I can’t seem to shake them. I feel as if these thoughts are a disease of some sort that at most times feels incurable. There’s a side of my mind that keeps saying STOP to the other side that stays cloudy and will not shut up.

I want to write because I genuinely love it and it’s something I’m actually good at. Some would say I’m too wild and eccentric so writing is a way to let the creativity and energy out. I want to get back into writing again, perhaps daily, but what do I write about? I already talk about myself enough and the train wreck that I am… but what would people want to read about? I have so many ideas but do not know where to start. Any suggestions? I would love to put myself out there and share my writing and crazy thoughts to others.

 

Much love -Shelbey

Electric Forest Festival

Electric Forest ❤

My adventure to the forest was magical and like nothing else I have experienced in my life. Allow me to create an image in your head of this refreshing and liberating four days that I experienced and I hope it will change your beliefs or pre-judgments of this festival.

Sure, there are many misconceptions on how it’s full of “druggies” and bad news but in all reality, doesn’t every event in the U.S. have a diverse population that consists of these stereotypes? Of course there are always going to be those who do not handle drugs responsibly or create a bad time for themselves and the others around them. Not everything is “free” of that in life and we take that risk all of the time, even going to the grocery store.

Being a person that has never done psychedelic drugs before, I was considering trying something out in the forest. My boyfriend has always been an advocate for psychedelics due to the intense positive experiences he encountered each time. This was not my main focus though and not the reason I decided to give this festival a shot. I wanted to escape society for a moment and I felt like this was a place that I could do that.

Let me stop babbling and get to the good stuff. As I arrive to the festival of Electric Forest, it didn’t take long getting into the main gates with a long line that went rather quickly. The guards searched everyone’s cars before being able to enter the campsite at JJ’s Ranch in Rothbury, Michigan. Luckily, we got in safe and sound and we were rushing around to the campsite to get our tent put up before walking to the forest that was about a mile away from out campsite. We got luck with a campsite in General Admission that was fairly closer than others and I didn’t mind the walk that much. It would have been nice to get a ride from the bicyclists but 20$ a ride was not happening.

The first thing I noticed when we got in were a bunch of animal statues that signified each campsite so people could find where they are supposed to go. It was really easy to find our campsite and I never got lost. My boyfriend and his two friends were with me and we all got along really well the whole time which is a definite plus. As I started walking toward the forest decked out in glitter and my fresh dyed blue hair I started feeling free and my ego was slowly shutting down. I can wear glitter and have on crazy colors in public? I thought “this is great!”

Everyone looked like “dirty hippies” most would say and it was perfectly okay. People were dressed in anything they wanted to wear and more skin was showing on some but I was all for it. The body is a beautiful thing. I felt like I was in a different world because I could literally feel like love and acceptance from every stranger around me. The first thing I saw before entering the forest was food stands and a special wall with paint beside it that allowed people to paint on there what pulls them back in life or what they struggle with the most. As I was writing “anxiety” it was so eye opening and comforting to know I’m not the only one. The wall was already so flooded with words.

Right when you enter the gates of the actual forest where the many concerts and activities are, they check your items again for any drugs/alcohol/etc. They are pretty lenient about letting most items through. Once I got through security, I fell more in love as I look over and see a stage that is lit up with many colors and statues of Egyptian faces. It was SO cool to see. As you continue to walk about a half a mile, you find the giving tree. This is my favorite part of the whole experience. The giving tree is a beautiful big tree that is a place where everyone can give an object such as food, bracelets, and even band aids for whoever might need them. The motto is to “take what you want, give what you can.” It is like a trading post of giving and caring.

Keep on walking and you see another stage that is huge and a field where there are so many people watching the different venues which are mainly electronic musicians. The music is VERY loud to where you can hear the bass pretty clearly all the way back to the campsites. They usually start the loud music around 2 in the afternoon all the way until 2am. So if you think you’re going to get any sleep within that time, good luck unless you have ear plugs. After the stage, you finally see the forest that goes for miles and you are welcomes by upside down umbrellas above you that are in all kinds of colors. Every year there is a phenomenal large art piece that represents Electric Forest and this year it was two hands making a heart made up of hundreds of colored flowers.

Walking into the forest, there are so many people and everyone is giving each other high fives and smiles. You constantly hear “Happy Forest” and strangers exchanging hugs. The forest trees are tall and the sun was shining through. It is a glorious feeling to know there have been so many memories in this forest throughout the years and it holds so much magic and love. I felt like this forest had an effect on me to where there was no chance I could be mad or sad but just joyful and at peace. There were hammocks set up to relax on and artists stroking away at canvases. People meditating in the more quiet parts of the forest and others dancing to the sounds of their favorite musicians. I was intrigued by how some girls could hula hoop and the tricks that they did were astounding and mesmerizing. There were fairy doors all throughout the forest on the trees like mini giving trees but doors with trinkets you find from others. It makes it so much more special that people all over the nation come to this festival and you can find things that they leave behind and keep. There is food everywhere, and the food is good but it is expensive. Packing food to camp is a must or your bank account will bust. Games and missions are going on all around the forest, to solve clues and keep you busy between the raves. There is never a dull moment.

Night time in the forest is the best time. The lights are vibrant and beam above the trail through woods with art lit up all around you. It is like you are walking through a coloring book that has come alive but in nature and it gave me such a sense of peace and happiness. There is something about the beauty of this place that really makes you realize how beautiful life is. The stages are lit up and the audiences get packed at night to where everyone is close together and you feel love from everyone and not so much the craziness or hate you can feel from other concerts. As you walk out of the forest you can see the bright moon and all of the stars as there as wide fields all around and the sky is open. I was drawn to a calmer and prettier sounding set at night to really relax and take in nature.

I am a baby when it comes to trying new things such as psychedelics but I micro dosed shrooms and acid while I was in the forest and it didn’t do much to me but I did feel giggly and relieved of my daily stressors that are in the back of my mind. I plan to do more next time around but knowing you can be sober and still have the time of your life while connecting with nature is a blessing. If you get tired, there are options outside of the forest to rest in free hammocks, couches, and even a choice to watch television. These are especially nice if someone is having a “bad trip” on psychedelics or just having anxiety from all of the commotion because it is a lot to take in at first. This was my first festival I had ever been to and I am going to make sure I go every year. I have never felt so worthy being away from the toxicity of society and lost into nature with beautiful people and music. Please, enjoy the pictures I took while being there, not the best and some blurry due to walking. You will rarely see someone with a phone out and this was how everyone really connected. I love Electric Forest. Peace, Love, Unity, Respect.

Earth, Air, Fire, Water

I’m Not a Good “Mom”

Here I am sitting in bed, I have to work tomorrow and my stress levels are high. Just took my medicine and I hate that I have to take it. T.V. is blaring pretty loud and I can faintly hear my boyfriend and his two kids out in the living room playing. I feel pretty shitty right now. Just left my bedroom for a minute and anger took over my whole body and my blood boiled after seeing him texting the mother of his children. I’m so selfish and I am very aware of it.

We have been dating a year now and when I first met him, I fell so deeply in love, hes perfect for me in so many ways. So spiritually connected, our souls dance together. Around four months after dating, I met his kids, at the time they were 1 and 2. Still so young, still a lot for me to take in. I always told myself and others, “I will never date a guy with kids” and I literally swore by it. I would turn down any guy that had kids instantly. There was something different with my boyfriend because I was the happiest I had been in a very long time. We stayed up late every night and could not get enough of each other and just talk and talk about our lives. He didn’t talk about his kids much at all though, like never. I guess I was so caught up in him that I didn’t think about asking about them much. 

It was great at first because I would come over to his house and we rarely saw the kids and I didn’t really have the responsibility yet. A few more months pass by and we decide to have him move into my apartment, we were absolutely crazy about each other and we still are, with some issues. After moving in, he decided to take the kids more often now that he felt settled and not living with his crazy roommates. After the kids started coming over, I started to get a lot of anxiety and a lot of jealousy run through my mind and body. It almost feels as if evil takes over my Being and who I truly am and its strong enough for me to distance myself. I felt that pressure of being a “step-mom” really fast and it came on strong. I was still the party girl that met him through partying and I wasn’t ready in any way shape of form for kids yet. I am still immature myself, in some ways and mature in others. 

Why am I having such a hard time? It’s a year later and I am still this way.. but I only feel it getting worse. I feel like I can’t handle kids or something but I babysat my family in my past, so why is it still SO hard? I know that I am jealous because they aren’t my kids and I wish we could have had our first child together and went through it later in life, when I was ready. That’s selfish of me. Why do I think this way? The kids’ mother is so beautiful and such a good mom, and here I am jealous and distant. I have the hardest time communicating and talking to the kids because I stop myself and I don’t know why. I always wonder how other step-moms do it and how they can step up without all of these thoughts 24-7. Just thinking about having to go through having my boyfriend and her communicate for the next 18 years eats away at me. Shelbey, its a part of life, a lot of people do it! I keep telling myself this over and over but my emotion still overcomes whats best to do.

I hide. I come in my room and I hide. I don’t want to call it hiding but that’s what I am doing and I sit here and get angry with myself for doing it. My boyfriend knows exactly how I feel and I feel bad for him. He deserves better. Someone who can take care of his kids and really handle them without all of these emotions and fear. He always tells me he doesn’t know if it will work out because of my jealousy issues and he thinks I “hate” his kids. I will never hate any child, I do know that. I love kids! I am just having a rough time being nurturing and acting like they are my own. This has been so hard and probably the biggest issue I have been going through the past six months. I love him, I love us together, but when the kids are over, its different and I feel like i’m alone and they’re a family in the living room. I hate it. I don’t know what to do. 

Shelbey’s Kodak Moments

 

Daily Tarot Reading

Today, my reading consists of The II of Pentacles, The III of Wands, and The V of Pentacles. 

I am going to start by saying that I believe in reading cards based on their upright position and upside down, holding different meanings. Lets begin with The II of Pentacles, the first card starting on the left, which basically means what the card shows, finding a balance between decisions. This could mean that I am having interests that are conflicting with each other or the need for balance between work life, family, and my own well being. This is a time to use my energy to it’s greatest potential on my priorities and managing time wisely. The II of Pentacles indicates paying attention to bills and keep up on daily affairs. This card could also mean a situation that causes a lot of worry and to stay on top of the problem with order and time management. Go with the flow but with caution as there will be changes that come to me.

Secondly, The III of Wands means future plans and focusing on expanding and committing to goals. This card connects with the first card, showing that time management and planning ahead can lead to opportunities that could mean travel, work, or expanding knowledge. At this time, it is important to take advantage of the opportunities that arise while being open-minded because the odds are in my favor of success. Try new challenges without fear. This card also can predict traveling and taking the leap of faith to great opportunities that lie ahead.

Lastly, The V of Pentacles means worrying and hardship, especially with finances. This card normally shows a financial loss but can also mean a loss of something else important in life. This card could mean loss of a job, poverty, illness, or someone close. There is light to this card, signifying that there is a way out of this misfortune. It could also mean problems in a relationship due to financial issues that create a fear and anxiety of never having “enough” money. Changing my attitude towards money is important rather than focusing on how much money I have. The rough area of this card could mean feeling lonely or ignored, excluding myself from others or activities.

These meanings are the basics of each card, as I could go more in depth, but I am willing to read anyone’s cards through my writing. I am willing to connect spiritually with anyone who wants answers for their day, or even the past, present, and future. You can email me at shelbste26@gmail.com or just comment and I would love to!

Fear of Death

Lately I have been trying to focus on how to be in the “Now” as I am in the middle of reading the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I have always worried ever since I was little, about everything from getting my hands dirty to ghosts. Being so young, I always wondered why I couldn’t sleep without the T.V. on or why I always needed night lights because I never really watched scary shows/movies. Maybe in my past life I went through a lot of scary events, who knows.

I worry more and more every day, never seems to lighten up. Today, I worry about losing my job, losing my place, running out of money, getting old, getting sick, being hurt again by someone close, and many more thoughts that run aimlessly through my mind every day. Most of all, I am scared to die. I am scared of death and the thought of nothingness after passing away. Dying is my biggest fear and it makes me sick every night when I go to bed thinking about the unknown. My stomach twists with anxiety while I toss and turn restlessly trying to calm down after taking my daily benzos. Although, the thoughts don’t stop and nothing helps. Counseling, meditation, reading, breathing, you name it I’ve tried it.

Maybe the fear of death is the core to all of my depression and makes it hard for me to truly enjoy life. I am not so much worried about how or when I die, but what will happen after. Questions run through my head like, “Is there a God?”, “Will everything just be black?”, or “Will I see my loved ones after I pass?” I have tried church and I feel like a terrible person for feeling “odd” when I am present in one. Faith is hard to find for me when I always question it and I am so deep into fear.

I am searching for suggestions to reverse my negative cognitions. The Power of Now is helping me when I read it, but then I get right back into that negative thought process almost as if it has taken over my “Being” with no turning back. I have hope for it to turn around thought because I can’t live like this much longer.